Social Media: Expectations, Entitlement and Boundaries

The ability to IG, Tweet, blog, vlog, Snapchat and Facebook every minute of the day has had the side effect of turning "regular people" into internet sensations.  People with ordinary jobs and lives find themselves "Tumblr famous" or "IG celebrities" because they have huge numbers of faithful followers ready and willing to reblog, share, retweet and "spread this like wildfire" whenever they make a post. They have Q&A sessions inviting their followers to "ask me anything". They offer opinions on everything from politics and sex work, to whether Prince or Micheal Jackson was the superior vocalist.  They make confessions and concessions and no matter how much they give, their followers and subscribers remain thirsty for more. This desire for more is especially true when the person in question is a "legitimate" celebrity (or author/artist).

The more fan culture gives way to stan culture the more the lines between product and producer blur. The Beyhive aren't just fans of Beyoncé's music; Beyoncé herself gives us them life!  They are on her Tumblr, her Twitter, her IG, her website.  They can tell you everything from her mama's shoe size to her baby Blue's favorite cartoon character.  They may have come for the music, but they stay for Queen Bey. For artists like Rihanna, Beyoncé, and Taylor Swift having stans invested in them just as much, if not more than, their music works out well. Their popularity translates into hit singles, successful tours, movie roles, endorsements and magazine covers.

But the on the other side of the coin you have artists who have passionate, vocal, dedicated stans that can recite chapter and verse of every aspect of their biography, get personally invested in their relationships and romances, will come for your head if you dare utter anything that resembles a criticism but when it comes time to support a project (buy a ticket to a concert, buy an album, go watch their latest film) they turn into Casper, get ghost and are nowhere to be found.

I do think there's room in the relationship between consumer and creator for expectations and obligations. I believe content creators are obligated to produce quality material, particularly if they're charging for it.  I believe if fans get something that fails to meet their expectations or worse, that they feel is subpar (I realize this is subjective and open to interpretation) they have the right to speak out in reviews, on message boards and on forums.  I believe that if creators use their platform to defraud or con their fans, create content that is harmful, irresponsible, spreads misleading or false information fans have the right to call them out and hold them accountable.   

Fans expect quality content and for their part creators hope for, perhaps even expect, some level of fan support and to use their online platforms to their professional advantage.  Enjoy my book? Write a review on Goodreads and make sure you tell your friends. Getting your life on my Tumblr? Follow me and make sure you let your friends know to do the same. Loving this original song? It's available for purchase, just click here, download and make sure you tweet the iTunes link!  When it comes to those who create content and those who consume it, reasonable expectations generally aren't problematic.

Entitlement, however, is a bitter, ugly, horse of a different color.

I follow various authors, celebrities, bloggers and activists on my social media accounts and I've noticed (particularly in the past week) that social media interaction creates a sense of entitlement among some stans (creators as well but that's a whole different blog post).  There's this school of thought that if someone "invites" the public into their lives then the invitation is an all access pass given without conditions, restrictions or limitations. 

That mentality ignores the person behind the persona and reduces them to "brands" that only exist to serve the needs of their fan base.  Stans channel the WWE's Ryback  and scream "feed me more" not only expecting to be fed, but expecting to get full. If at any point in time their fave sets a boundary and refuses to talk about an issue, discuss a situation, or answer a question they are "called out".  The call outs are particularly aggressive if the refusal is in reference to something they've spoken on/shared previously because they are then called on the carpet for their "inconsistency".  When it comes to the online lives of content creators, the inclination to share anything has turned into the obligation to share everything. 

I understand having the (imo) reasonable expectation that if someone has previously spoken on a topic that they are open to discussing it.  I understand expecting for content creators to engage with fans in certain ways based on past interactions. I understand being disappointed, even disillusioned, when those expectations aren't met. What I don't understand taking that disappointment or disenchantment and turning it into hostility and aggression.   

I feel like there's a large part of stan culture that forgets social media accounts are an extension of the person, not the other way around.  Tumblr blogs, IG pages, Youtube channels and Twitter accounts don't just spring out of thin air.   Whether the account is personal, professional or a blend of both "online lives" are part of people's"real lives".  When an interaction is aggressive, disruptive, hostile and demanding online it has an impact offline.  Whether it takes place online or off, there is damage done when an interaction is harassing, abusive or dehumanizing.  

Personal boundaries exist for our physical and emotional safety.  That isn't any less true if the interaction is online rather than in person.  Personal boundaries don't have to be consistent to be valid. Boundaries are not fixed points that can never be moved. What someone was comfortable with yesterday may not be what they are comfortable with today no amount of receipts pulled from their blog archive changes that.  Personal boundaries don't have to be popular to be enforced.  Personal boundaries do not require outside approval.  Personal boundaries are not a privilege reserved for those with limited visibility or who have "guarded" their privacy. Personal boundaries are for everyone and we all have the right to define and redefine them as need be.

No matter how how much they've "courted" celebrity people never forfeit the right to say no, stop, and don't.  No matter how much of themselves someone may have shared in the past (even if the past was two hours or ten minutes ago) they have the right to say "I shared that, but this I want to keep for myself". No matter how often they've discussed a topic in the past, they have the right to say "Today I am not having that conversation."  Responding to someone saying no with harassment or abuse reeks of entitlement and I'm disturbed by the amount of times I've seen this scenario play out online.