Wednesday Wisdom: For Introverted Authors

I often describe myself as an awkward turtle. I'm quiet, I'm extremely uncomfortable around new people, I have serious social anxiety that sometimes leads to acute bouts of agoraphobia, I rarely start conversations because I don't want to bother people, rejection (or just the perception of it) is soul crushing for me and just the idea of public speaking can bring on a panic attack. People and crowds exhaust me and I need time to regroup and recharge after being out and about. Spontaneity is not my friend and everyone in my circle knows not to come over without calling first.

Growing up I thought I was broken. What kid doesn't want to be popular with a packed social calendar and the center of attention? There are whole Hollywood movies made about the teenage outsider longing to be part of the "in" crowd and what they're willing to do in order to be part of that world.

I always hated those movies. Nine times out of the ten, the so-called outsider has a small group of friends who may not be sitting at the cool kids table but they're ride or die, ball til we fall, true friends to the end. It also didn't help that in those films most of the popular kids were jerks. After blowing off their real friends and undergoing a complete personality change,the outsider ends up realizing the only reason the grass looks greener on the other side is because it's AstroTurf. They run back to their former friends, beg for (and are granted) forgiveness and with the Important Life Lesson™ learned all's well that ends well.

I never understood what was so horrible about having a few dedicated friends and a lot of alone time. It seemed like a win/win to me. My parents and my older brother didn't see it that way. I was always pushed into this activity or that club, forced to go here, and do this, and be social. I hated it but I didn't really understand why. The more they pushed, and the more it seemed like everyone else was perfectly fine going and doing and being, the more broken I thought I was.

It wasn't until I got to college and started seeing a counselor that I realized I wasn't broken or weird or wrong, I was introverted. Understanding what I am and learning there were millions of other people, some of whom were very successful, that felt the same way I did was such a breakthrough moment for me. I cried  true blue tears, y'all. My journal entry on that day was a thing to behold.

I started writing initially as a way to express my feelings and quiet the noise in my head. I had the words but somewhere between my brain and my mouth they'd get stuck. I couldn't speak, so I wrote. When I first started thinking about writing as a career, I had a romanticized notion of a writer as a soulful, solitary figure who spent weeks at a time without having to socialize. Not gonna lie, the idea appealed to me. It sounded like an introvert's paradise.

So imagine my disappointment when I found out that a fair amount of being a successful writer means being a successful marketer. As much as authors talk about putting our blood, sweat, and tears into our books and treat them like our babies, they're not. They're products and products need marketing and promotion in order to sell. In 2016, a lot of that marketing and promotion falls on the author.That means building relationships with other authors, readers, bloggers, book reviewers and other people in the industry.

This realization sent me into a panic. I'm not a sales person. I'm not great at calling attention to myself. I don't want to bother people so it's rare for me to initiate contact and conversation. I'm shy and hesitant with strangers, even online. It does not, has not, and shall not go down in my DM's, is what I'm saying. 

So what's an introvert to do?

First, I freaked the freak out. Then, after I finished breathing into a paper bag and brought the panic down from an 11 to about a 5, I researched the strategies of successful introverts and worked out a system I feel comfortable with and that works for me. How did I do it? By doing the following:

•  Set realistic, attainable goals you can build on: One of the strategies I ran across was to increase my Twitter followers by 50-100 every week. At this point and time for me, those numbers are like trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen.  So I modified it into something more realistic.  Right now my goal is five to ten new followers a week. When I hit that consistently, I can bump the numbers up. It doesn't matter if you're going for a certain number of likes on your Facebook page, Twitter followers, hits on your blog, percentage of increase in your sales or whatever, make sure the goal is realistic, attainable, and can be built on. 

•  Know where your audience is: There are 50-11 ways to interact with potential readers but where is your audience? Do you get a bigger reaction to your Tweets or your Facebook posts? Is your Pinterest popping or is Tumblr where it's at for you? Are people commenting on your blog or are they liking your IG posts?  Having a presence on more than one social media platform is pretty much essential these days but knowing where to concentrate your efforts can be a lifesaver.

• Listen and learn: I don't know about you but my Twitter feed is full of authors, agents, artists, content creators, editors, and publishers sharing great tips and advice. I've learned a ton about the business of being an author simply by listening when they speak. 

•  Engagement is not optional: This is hard for me. Talking to people, engaging with other authors and readers is incredibly intimidating for me. What if I'm bothering them? What if they don't like me? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I say the wrong thing? What if they think I'm being annoying? All of these thoughts go through my head. Even with people I interact with on a regular basis, it's a struggle sometimes to speak up and not just sit back and observe the conversation going on around me. And it doesn't help when you shoot your shot and miss the target (I'm pretty sure my awkward attempt at expressing concern about someone sent them running for the hills recently lol). But, there's no getting around the fact that engaging with readers and fellow authors and people in the industry is not an option. It doesn't have to be chore though. There are FB groups,Twitter chats, writing forums and social media platforms that make connecting easy. There's a lot of lanes on the engagement superhighway, you just gotta find yours. I promise you'll find your squad. If I can do it, you can too. 

I'm a novice and I'm still learning but we can all grow together. Are there any tips/tricks you've learned or wisdom you wish to pass on to your fellow introverts? Don't be shy, this is a safe space.

XOXO,
Dylan